Fantasy Card Review - Unhinged

Here's a thread for all of your unrealistic cards, cards with effects that are just too silly or complicated to have a proper place in the game. You can go nuts in here, and do whatever crazy things you can dream up.


Example 1 - Not acceptable

Corridor of Candles
Field Spell Card
Once per turn, the controller of this card can discard 1 card to flip all face-down monsters on the field face-up. (FLIP effects are not activated.)



Example 2 - Acceptable

Illusion Magic Ball
Effect Monster (Spellcaster / LIGHT / 4 Stars / ATK 1550 / DEF 1800)
This card is treated as a Normal Monster Card.




StRiKe_NiNjA's Disclaimer
This thread does not reflect, predict, or somehow curse Konami to release these cards one day. That would be dumb, or would it? No, it would just be dumb. They really shouldn't do that, ever.

Okay, that means I get to post this card I picked up from a custom card site a couple of years back. Can't quite remember the name of the site.

EDIT: Doh! CustomDuelMonsters.com

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ-Dragon Catapult Launcher Burst Omega Supreme Optimus Gekiganger Obliterator Shining Solar Universe Infinity Cannon
Effect Monster (Machine / LIGHT / 42 Stars / ATK ∞000 / DEF ∞000)
This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card cannot be Special Summoned except by Tributing 6 Level 9 Machine-Type monsters. When this card is Special Summoned, gain Life Points equal to the original ATK of this card. This card cannot be targeted and is unaffected by the effects of Spell, Trap and Monster Cards.


Invincible Slate
Effect Monster (Rock-Type / EARTH / 1 Star / ATK 0 / DEF 0)
This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card is destroyed by battle, gain 1,000,000 Life Points.

I had forgotten about this card. Someone had me make a while back. It was supposed to have exardave's face photoshoped in, but we never could find a picture of him.

​

Heheh. That was the point. It was supposed to "unhinge" you.

I thought maybe Skill Drain would allow Invincible Slate to work (Life Points-wise), but it's still stupidly broken and unhinged. As for Alphabet Etc. Cannon, there's Soul Exchange, so it's just slightly possible (although much less likely than seeing Gate Guardian come out in 4 consecutive non-rigged Duels).

Ape of Distraction
Normal Trap Card
Point to behind your opponent and shout, "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!". If you call it correctly, you win the Duel (and a prize for finding a three-headed monkey).



Exodia Smackdown
Quick-Play Spell Card
If you are right-handed, activate only when you control "Right Arm of the Forbidden One". If you are left-handed, activate only when you control "Left Arm of the Forbidden One". Hit your opponent in the face.



Haze Strike
Normal Trap Card
Flip 1 coin once and call Heads or Tails. If you call it correctly, inflict 800 damage to your opponent; otherwise, inflict 800 damage to your opponent.

Because
Continuous Spell Card
Flip a coin.

Fake Animal
[Effect/Beast/DARK/:*::*::*::*::*::*:/200 ATK/200 DEF]
This card's name is treated as "Stuffed Animal".

1792
Quick-Play Spell Card
Your opponent multiplies 112 by 16 and tells you that amount. If they call it correctly, take damage equal to that amount; otherwise, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the number they called.



The Mathemagician #π
Effect Monster (Spellcaster / EARTH / 4½ Stars / ATK 1600i / DEF e^7)
When this card inflicts Imaginary Battle Damage to your opponent, your opponent discards ½ card.

​

Kakkarot of Another Planet
Effect Monster (Warrior / EARTH / 4 Stars / ATK 0 / DEF 0)
If the ATK of this card is over 9000, you win the Duel.

Warrior-Type, then. I suppose at the time of the infamous 9000 bit, he no longer transforms into the Oozaru (Ookazi? Just Desserts?).

Besides, the Wild Nature's Release combo is still at least 6 cards total (Kakkarot (0), Scapegoat (0), United We Stand (4000), Wild Nature's Release (8000), Axe of Despair + any other ATK booster (to get >9000).