Yeah, clean breaks are often the best. The whole "let's be friends" thing rarely works out. Too much history. Too much emotion. And it gets worse the "closer" you were in the relationship (if you get my meaning). If a clean break is (for whatever reason) not viable, then you must at least set up some VERY rigid boundaries and get someone close (not him) to help you maintain them. Someone to hold you accountable-someone you respect, who will be a friend enough to tell you when you are being an idiot; 'cause let's face it, passions can do that to a person.
Really what you need is a little you time. Time to sort out your feelings and reconnect with who you are without anybody giving or taking emotionally. You have been a "couple". This has made you into someone a little different than you were before you met him. Now you need to find out who this new person is and set new goals for you without him. It is hard to do that with him still around. The truth is, he is probably just as confused as you are right now. But for the mental health of the both of you, time away is best.
As for how your year is shaping up, I'm sorry it isn't better. But this can also be a very good thing. if life were just wine and roses all the time, there would be litttle growth. It is in the difficult times that we face who we really are (for better or worse) and are granted the opportunity to change (or hide....definitely not the best approach).
Think of it like a doughnut. Back in the old days, they didn't use steam to cook their doughnuts, just oil. And one might imagine that the doughnut which had a hole in it, would be better if it did not, but, rather was a whole doughnut. After all, there would be more doughnut, right? But no. If it were not for the whole, the oil would not cover and cook the doughnut correctly. Either the outside would be perfect, but the inside all soft and gooey, or the inside would be perfect and the outside would be hard and tough.
Therefore, do not dispise the doughnut for the hole, as it brings completeness and a well rounded finish. So it is with life. Do not dispise the empty places. The missing pieces. Those lackings are there for your well rounded development; and in dispising them you could end up either hardened on the outside, or too soft on the inside. So embrace these times, as they are attempts to produce in you a better and and more complete you.
Please Note: The "clean break" senario is not intended, nor recommended for married couples. These musings are from a very Christian perspective and the understanding and implementing of them cannot be guaranteed apart from that world view. Further and deeper discussion on this or any other religious material are welcomed through PM. this thread, however, should be reserved for helping our dear Fire_Master_Haku. Thank you.
