Tips for handling parents
from UDE's Player Management Forums
This isn't really something that I have a problem with, but I thought it would make a good discussion for the more experienced judges/TO's to give advice to newer judges on how to handle parents.
Sooner or later, every judge seems to run into some type of issue with parents that come into their tournaments. I know I've had a couple myself. Unfortunately, parents, while they should be setting an example for the younger players, will instead set a poor one. I've also had one or two times where a parent has attempted to start a fight with me after giving their kid a game loss, even though I was completely polite, and did my best to make it a learning experience, rather then a punishment. Of course there are other things like coaching in and such that come up every so often. But I'd rather talk about experiences, then name a bunch of situations.
To sum up a personal experience I once had. It was a local weeknight event, that occured once a week. We had a dad and his son, who was probably about 7 come in. Now, our venue had a few simple rules, things like, no food at the tables and such. Long story short, the dad disagreed with several of the rules. He would get upset over things, like me asking his son not to lean back in the chairs, or not to be playing his gameboy during his matches. He even want as far as to start hand feeding his son during his games, after I asked him not to eat at the tables. Unfortunately, the issue ending up resolving itself, with the dad refusing to bring his son back after a few weeks of reoccuring issues.
Handling parents is never an easy thing. For me, one of the challenges is being 19, and trying to get a 30+ year old person to listen to me, which doesn't always go well. But I can try and offer a few tips, and I'm sure the more experienced judges will have plenty of advice.
- Be polite, but firm.
Obviously you should be polite to everyone to begin with, but parents are more likely to take offense to a rude judge then a kid. As for being firm. The majority of parents, won't cause any problems. Most are very nice and because they're trying to let thier kid have fun, won't give you any problems at all. But every so often, you're going to get someone trying to push the rules, and it's important that you stick to them. If nessacary, speak to your venue owner regarding the situation. I know in my situation, because I was only 18 at the time, the dad didn't want to listen to me, so I asked an older employee for help, and she was able to talk to him, and make it clear that despite my age, he needed to listen to me.
- Remember, many parents know little about tournaments.
More specifically, rules for tournaments. While some parents are able to play alongside their kids, many come merely to watch their kids play, and usually have very little to no knowledge of how tournaments are run. Keep that in mind before talking to a parent. Typically they were unaware that something they were do was causing a problem, and the majority of the time, all it takes is a quick explaination, and they're usually more then happy to comply. A common example of this is something like coaching.
- Remember to keep calm, even when the parent isn't
It can be hard to do this, but remember, if the parent isn't going to set a good example for their child, someone has to.
That's about all I can offer for now, though I'm such others will be able to expand upon this. Just in general, these are some good topics to cover.
- How to handle parents that consider us a babysitting service
- How to handle a parent that's upset at you because another player ripped their kid off in a trade.
- How to handle parents that insist on arguing with you, rather then discuss the situation
- How to handle parents that demand unreasonable accomendations for their kids.
- Any other tips,etc
Remember, one of the most important things to do, is that you need to set a good example for the younger players, even if the parent(s) are not.
http://entertainment.upperdeck.com/community/forums/thread/1020950.aspx
from UDE's Player Management Forums
This isn't really something that I have a problem with, but I thought it would make a good discussion for the more experienced judges/TO's to give advice to newer judges on how to handle parents.
Sooner or later, every judge seems to run into some type of issue with parents that come into their tournaments. I know I've had a couple myself. Unfortunately, parents, while they should be setting an example for the younger players, will instead set a poor one. I've also had one or two times where a parent has attempted to start a fight with me after giving their kid a game loss, even though I was completely polite, and did my best to make it a learning experience, rather then a punishment. Of course there are other things like coaching in and such that come up every so often. But I'd rather talk about experiences, then name a bunch of situations.
To sum up a personal experience I once had. It was a local weeknight event, that occured once a week. We had a dad and his son, who was probably about 7 come in. Now, our venue had a few simple rules, things like, no food at the tables and such. Long story short, the dad disagreed with several of the rules. He would get upset over things, like me asking his son not to lean back in the chairs, or not to be playing his gameboy during his matches. He even want as far as to start hand feeding his son during his games, after I asked him not to eat at the tables. Unfortunately, the issue ending up resolving itself, with the dad refusing to bring his son back after a few weeks of reoccuring issues.
Handling parents is never an easy thing. For me, one of the challenges is being 19, and trying to get a 30+ year old person to listen to me, which doesn't always go well. But I can try and offer a few tips, and I'm sure the more experienced judges will have plenty of advice.
- Be polite, but firm.
Obviously you should be polite to everyone to begin with, but parents are more likely to take offense to a rude judge then a kid. As for being firm. The majority of parents, won't cause any problems. Most are very nice and because they're trying to let thier kid have fun, won't give you any problems at all. But every so often, you're going to get someone trying to push the rules, and it's important that you stick to them. If nessacary, speak to your venue owner regarding the situation. I know in my situation, because I was only 18 at the time, the dad didn't want to listen to me, so I asked an older employee for help, and she was able to talk to him, and make it clear that despite my age, he needed to listen to me.
- Remember, many parents know little about tournaments.
More specifically, rules for tournaments. While some parents are able to play alongside their kids, many come merely to watch their kids play, and usually have very little to no knowledge of how tournaments are run. Keep that in mind before talking to a parent. Typically they were unaware that something they were do was causing a problem, and the majority of the time, all it takes is a quick explaination, and they're usually more then happy to comply. A common example of this is something like coaching.
- Remember to keep calm, even when the parent isn't
It can be hard to do this, but remember, if the parent isn't going to set a good example for their child, someone has to.
That's about all I can offer for now, though I'm such others will be able to expand upon this. Just in general, these are some good topics to cover.
- How to handle parents that consider us a babysitting service
- How to handle a parent that's upset at you because another player ripped their kid off in a trade.
- How to handle parents that insist on arguing with you, rather then discuss the situation
- How to handle parents that demand unreasonable accomendations for their kids.
- Any other tips,etc
Remember, one of the most important things to do, is that you need to set a good example for the younger players, even if the parent(s) are not.
http://entertainment.upperdeck.com/community/forums/thread/1020950.aspx